you'll know one day..

you'll know one day...
you were the only one she loved
you were the only she could be herself with.
you were the only one she thought of.
yours was the fragrance she was accustomed to.
yours were the only lips she kissed.
your arms were her only world.
you were the only one she wove dreams with.

you'll know one day..
she never broke your trust.
she never lusted over another man.
she had her coffee your way.
she dressed, and looked the way you saw her.
she was the same girl who said, she'd love only one boy.

you'll know one day...
your curse worked its way.
she suffered alone.
your essence helped her succumb.
she refused to even look at the world.
you were the sole reason, for her to live and to die.
she, passed by your soul and you kept looking away.

you'll know one day...
its was never her fault, but of the situations, scenarios and their solutions.

you'll know one day...
you should have never held it against her.

Antique Love...

     A huge wooden  trunk with intricate carvings on it, is the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of the word antique..  But, what reminds me of the word today, is the most amazing stage to be in love.. old age!
     That wonderful sight, looking at an old pair walking through the park, hand in hand. The look they exchange. The peace of mind reflecting in their smiles.. Its so divine!
     I wish someday we realize that those long phone calls and the dozen cups of coffee didn't make memories.. it all matters today because the person mattered then!
     I wish someday we realize that companionship is not living together, under the same roof... it means being one's shadow when darkness follows.
     I wish someday we realize that love doesn't fly out of the window with lust... it is love only if it over comes lust!
     I wish someday we realize that sharing memories after all the years is much more important than making memories and having nobody to share them with!
    I wish someday... I sit by the backyard on a rocking chair, with squinted vision, wrinkled skin, salt n peppery hair, trembling fingers and a broad smile.. looking towards the sky and thanking God.. for.. my wish came true!


Cheers to all those people who hope and believe.. that one day, next to their rocking chair, there will be somebody sitting beside them!

Before we live our last

"We all laugh.

We all hurt.

We all make mistakes.

We all dream.

that's life, It's a journey."

A journey that begins even before we are born. But whether it ends with your last breath is dependent on only you!
If every moment you spend with your near ones throughout your life, reminds them of you even in your absence. Keeps you more alive than you were when you were still breathing. Live every moment as the next one has a link to the previous, or live it, like every moment is a new sentence, with a significant full stop. It doesn't matter what people think of you at this moment.. all that matters is.. does your thought flash at least at least once in a while in their lives? If it does... does it bring a smile on to their face?If yes again... then I guess you're immortal.. living in the thoughts of not one.. but a bunch of people whom you loved!

With memories... what to do?

     Walking down the aisle of memories, I realize, I notice there are so many people around me. So many faces I see, so many faces I glance at, I smile at, but do I know everyone of them?
     As I close my eyes or just stare at infinity, a picture appears in front of me, pouring out each emotion every moment was bearing.
     Sometimes there is a soft tear building up, sometimes a jovial smile and sometimes a hurtful wrinkle on the forehead. Some random days, some random people, whose names I may forget.. matter so much now!
     I walk along all the lanes, some lead to a turning point, some give me a choice some are plain straight while at the end of some.. there is no way ahead!
     how do I know where to stop? Where to turn around and which way not to opt for? Should i try the trial and error or just stand where i am stranded?

A new life...

     A new day, a new life... 

As I live each moment as it passes by... I observe, I learn that everything has a meaning.

Right from getting late for the 7:30 lecture to ordering  the same sandwich and coffee for breakfast!

From raising my hand for an answer to not being taken in class.

From coughing deliberately and taking a mouthful of food in class to passing one single bottle of water in the entire class!

From singing songs in class.. to running into the room before the lecturer enters!

From clicking pictures from all angles to keeping nicknames and code words!

From the Facebook group to the groups we walk into the canteen in.
From all the people I never wanted to talk to... to all the people my day is incomplete without.

From judging everyone on the first day, to realizing how wrong I was.

From all the hugs and kisses.. to all the laps we run behind each other.

From all the food dropped on the table, to all the spoons of food we steal from any random face!

From all the high-fives, back slaps and bowing down laughter to all the times there is absolute silence in a lecture.

From all the times we've had yet.. to all the times we are going to miss one day.....
A new day, is a new life!!!


Dedicated to all the new mates I've found at V.E.S.!! 

Cheers!

Green Economy: Does It Include You?

World Environment Day is coming up, on the 5th of  June. Probably just another date on the calendar for many of us! Do we realise, that if not for you and me, all the world would have been as green as Ireland, as close to heaven as Kashmir and as moderately hot and cool as the climate is supposed to be!
WE are the ones to be blamed for ever ounce of the destructed ozone layer, every mile of barren land, every wasted drop of water!
Every smoke cloud has each one of our names on it. Every tree cut has our memory in it. Every time somebody coughs at a traffic signal.. you or I can be the reason to it!
These things have become inevitable, for the fast life has reached the level of normalcy... every thing that limited to the big cities has now spread its roots all around the world!
There is nothing we did to prevent it, nothing we did to stop the use of Carbon emitting products, right at the time it all started!
But there is definitely something we can do to make up for all the loss, damage and uncontrolled wastage we have caused!
Carpool when ever possible, in fact.. use public transport or even better, pedal off the short distances instead of hitching a taxi or a rickshaw!
Sow seeds.. nurture plants.. that is probably the only rescue from the vicious trap of pollution!
Every time you see a tap running, think of how helpless you feel on a hot summer afternoon desperately looking for water!
 Every time you use a plastic bag, imagine yourself trapped in one.. unable to breathe, succumbing, is the earth.. dying every moment a polythene is used! Switch to eco-friendly  bags!
Turn off the a/c if your fan spins fast enough!
Recycle as much as waste as you can! From newspapers to electronic gadgets, everything we do, every step we take can either add a day or cut two from the life of The Earth.
The choice is ours... give or take, it'd affect nobody but us!

A mighty lesson!

Sometimes we fail,
Sometimes we fall,
and are afraid to walk with our heads held high,
imagining how terrible falling down again will be!


But trust me...
the hunched back, the wrinkled forehead and they sad frown are not my thing!
I'd not even clean my wounds
and dust my clothes before walking on,
because, I know,
somewhere down the lane,
I'll meet somebody who'll ask me what my story is.
Seeing my wounds..
I'll know.. I need to reach my destination,
for I am in pain!
Seeing the dust clad me...
I'll know I need to reach my destination,
for i need to clean up,
before I march forward,
towards the end of a new beginning!




Dedicated to all those people who have fallen down or missed a step on their journey to life, you need to put and end to the pain, but be affirmative about the healing and you shall heal soon! :)

I rode off the island of love

     I read in this amazing book, a line that made me think,"though I hate love, I believe in it" I paused, looking over the leaflets of the book in a moving train, thinking, do we all, in some very intricate moments of life fall out of love, hating the emotion, yet believing in it? Don't we at most times swear and promise and hope.. that love never happens if it ought to be lost? Be it your partner, a friend, family or some inspiration of yours. Don't we try convincing ourselves that we are better off alone and that at the end of the day, we are born and we die alone, and that, EVERYONE MOVES ON? 
     The truth is, no matter how lonely you are, you do have somebody to talk to about your loneliness! Is it really worth riding off the island of love because of all the people you ever loved? Is it worth counting on god to punish those who have crushed your heart as finely as salt, so much so that it dissolves in the ruthless world, going unnoticed. Is it worth having waited for those friends and those lost people you loved and in return, they abandoned you? It is Clearly not!
You must have heard a hundred times what I say now, it is stereotypical and Bollywood style, "if you lose somebody and if that somebody doesn't come back to you, they were never yours"
Yours in the true sense, yours with all the passion, honesty and loyalty!
     So if you are pedaling your cycle towards the last few meters off the Island of love, where you learnt to sacrifice, respect, compromise and accept everything about your loved ones... then STOP!
 Look, look clearly, if there are people waving goodbye, ignore them. Look at those in whose eyes you see love, whose eyes are screaming in silence for you to stop.... then stop for those people who've always been there for you and you never noticed. Ride back to them and wrap them in the blanket of your love and thanking, and stay there, and live the beauty of being vulnerable. If you are with the wrong people, their touch will tell you to back off, and if you are in safe hands, just go with it, because then, being vulnerable will be much better than being in love!


DEDICATED to all those people who sat by me, held me, listened to me in my hour(s) of need. It's for you.. that I didn't ride off the island of love! Thank you! :)

My reason to embark upon a journey.

     There are always situations in our lives when we have to choose left or right, this way, or that. Basically, start a new journey from a point you ending something on.
     When something new comes along I often ask myself, is it worth the effort? Is the venture too risky? Is there too much of mine riding on it? Now I think nothing is worth all the thought and all the thinking. Now I have decided, "Go with the flow"
    Yes, no experience is too happy or too sad, beating expectations or getting beaten down by expectations. Why not keep walking? if you have a great time, and the view is pretty, give yourself a pat on the back, because you started the journey. If the journey is sad and simply ugly, then pat yourself again, because sooner or later, it ought to end. Why not give everything a try? What not say, "better luck next time" than, "damn, if only i had..."

Maa...

     This afternoon, I had nothing to do but get cosy on the couch and surf through the T.V. I tucked myself away and recollected a childhood memory of my mother and me, cuddling on the sofa early in the morning.She'd lay there every morning after her walk, and I'd sleep next to her. Though she never made noise, I always knew she was there.
     It was the connection. Even if I have a dozen of friends, though I am rarely at home these days, though she gets bored of most of all the conversations I bring up, she'll hear.. if not listen! A walk to the market has always been our thing.
     Some things are never expected or looked forward to, yet, they become treasured memories of our life. What is it, that keeps the relationship so simple.. yet so intricate? What is it that makes maa love me though I kicked her, and gave her endless sleepless nights.. even before I was born? What is it that makes her forgive me after all the times I've let her down, disappointed her and throttled her hopes? I think, Its the umbilical chord that was never snipped!
     A chord, a connection that nourished me when I was inside her womb, the chord that supplies me with unconditional love ever after the mean words spilt out in frustrations, the tears shed in agony the banging of thing in wrath. We think the chord was cut when we were born, but truly, it stays.. an invisible string, hidden inside our souls, always protecting us, understanding us, our needs, and loving us. Do we get detached from the umbilical chord, from maa as we grow up? Does it break after we move out, out of childhood, into adolescence or in adulthood? Does it break as we get married and literally move out, into our own life and family? May be, its always there, in anticipation that may be, someday the love is equal on both ends.
      hoping that I soon balance the love you give me and add oodles of love, care and joy into your lap, to nullify the wounds I've given you.
Dedicated to my mother and the kids out there, if you need a push or just another instant to tell you how much you love your mother and to make you realize how much she has already give you without a complain! I hope this works!

shadows

Its usually said that we live in the shadows of life... with a bonding of the body and mind in the brightest of times and disappearance  when the light dims and finally it's dark.... Somewhere down the line, not intimately connected to the deeper ends of who we really are, we live life as shadows! It might seem nothing at a glance, but think about it...  Do we really live like the persons we are, or do we live as the shadows that linger around people, succumbing to what we all get acquainted to, at one point or another, "self judgement"  (yes, I've been thinking about this issue for quiet long now, but I haven't found a decent conclusion to stop... thinking)

When some matters deep inside trouble us for those innumerable hours, we prefer wearing a smile, only so that all those questions are not thrown at us. When we take a wrong decision, though we know how wrong we are, we cannot stop ourselves, and when its time for punishment, we do end up asking god, WHY?
Well, I thought of putting it in various ways, though the best I could come up with is, people are like the ocean. They let water and debris in. The ocean allows everyone to be a part of her, but she can never be somebody else (ironically)
 The ocean has both, the shallow waves, that wash ashore and the deep water making ripples who has treasure hidden under her chest!
 Don't you think of yourself as someone similar?
 Don't you think that at one point, we need to stop for a moment, wherever we are and just think, in what direction we are going in, in what direction we must choose. While some other times, being directionless, is the best way to find the correct direction!
  In order to just leave the hand of all those thoughts that trouble us, do we really leave behind who we are, and become nothing more important than shadows?

An extending hand, is all a stumbler needs!

     There are times we fall... and we stay there.. thinking and analysing, why did we fall. While sometimes, we get up, dust ourselves, and walk away and some other times, we laugh along with the people around us.
     Though.. many a times, we wait, wait for somebody to come and extend a hand toward us! We may or may not appreciate the help, but the greatness lies in acknowledging the help offered.
     Be it walking down the street, coming across new people or just meeting some old friends, eating something nice or while hearing a song, listening to the best part of the lyrics. It's just an experience at the end of the day.
     What I believe is, sometimes, being a 'newbie', a stumbler is an awful lot of fun!  Though you know what's best at a restaurant, try out something new, listen to a new genre of music, try out a different set of clothes. I think, unless we throw ourselves in a place we are new to, a situation which we are unaware of, unless we get out of our 'comfort zone', we rarely learn anything!
     Living outside our world, our own bubble that doesn't comprise of many beautiful things we are not acquainted with, is a tad difficult! At this time, if somebody agrees with our thoughts and walks along with us the new path we embark upon, life does become easier. As some things need to be dealt with alone, following ones own gut and intuition, some others bring the need to have a second opinion. It is those times when, AN EXTENDING HAND, IS ALL A STUMBLER NEEDS!

The dirty denims!

People who wash their denims after a one time wear, this article is definitely not meant for you! 

Read further only and strictly if you don't have a count of how many times have you worn the same denim, over and over again. Even after the ends of your pants are literally muddy and you cannot distinguish if its the dirt or the color of your jeans has always been like that! Read on, if you think any function or any situation you are in, denims are indeed your best friends..

Aren't the good people like denims as well? Friends and their friendship should be like trustworthy denims! Though they cost you a little more, they last for longer. Each time we go pant-shopping, we try out several pieces and settle for nothing less than pure comfort.  Isn't it a great moment when you invest in jeans which are comfortable and 'fit in' correctly, without making you wait for a while, without making you adjust to its nature and texture! Isn't it an equally enthralling feeling, when friends fit in the same way? Yes, one needs to wait for a while, but then the perfect match does come our way!

May be the dirty denims are friends... you accept them, just the dirty way they are! Its a stupid way of comparing something so divine as friendship with something so materialistic like a pair of pants!
Its not about using here.. its about togetherness, the fact that I'd never think twice before climbing a wall in my denims because I trust them... and I'd never doubt going an extra mile with a friend, because its always going to be worth it!

A silent journey

Today, I took a rickshaw ride with a dear girl friend. Initially, we did talk and blabber about almost everything important AND unimportant, but, when the rick turned onto the highway, I felt an awkward silence. Though we know, both of us had plenty to speak about, it was a silent journey!
We reached a point when we just glanced at each other and smiled and coiled back into our own world again. Haven't you ever experienced the weird silent peaceful pleasure, happiness, that even a long laughter can never fulfil? Those moments are magical. Sisters.. they make every silent journey worth it!!!
She holds me and hides behind me.
She scratches my arm and grips onto me.
She sheds tears in embarrassment
She yells when I irritate her
She surprises me when I least expect it!
She caresses me when I need her.
She... is always there!!!
The truth is, silence is the most expressive way to say everything!! 


dedicated to mitchi... for, after every pause, every coma... you come!!
and all the big and baby sisters
giggling girls
high-fiving pals
back slapping bitches!!

XOXO

Hugs and kisses are always so special. My favorite.
A father's hug would be firm, surrounding you with his arms and ensuring you, that you are safe! Maa's hugs are tender ad polite, just like her love for you. They've hugged you from times you've not been longer than one foot, to the times you gradually grow to the day you are taller than them! Sisters hug you like a soft cushion, ready to strangle to 24X7
While some friends hug like the hour has struck and they're the pendulum.. almost loosing balance, some friends are shy, they don't hug, for weird reasons and some hug for weirder reasons like a nice cologne!

Sometimes the shorter ones can get their noses smashed against somebody's chest. Some emotional monkeys can weep it out on your shirt! Some wait for the right moment, and miss out on the numerous moments that simply pass by. There' a connection felt, like a chord is struck between two souls, the warmth brings a peaceful pause... making a moment!!

The single girl

      Its generally fun, to hang around friends, pulling each others legs and cracking silly jokes. Spending time with yourself, taking long walks and longer showers.... Just being, who you are! Shopping, eating, drinking endless litres of fizzy cold-drinks: basically, not worrying about your weight and the lover's handle, that no lover actually wants!!
     Though sometimes, it strikes to you, when you are in the bus and there's nobody to buy your ticket. When you are at marine drive, and there's nobody to agree enough, how much romance oozes out of it!!
     Sometimes...its just the message-think-smile cycle that we are not well acquainted with. So, is life complete with someone who loves you like nobody else does.. or is it, loving yourself the way nobody else can? Or may be, the 100 rupees question is, 'is life complete?' Is there a full stop to it, with or without any number of people in it?

BEING TALL... CURSE OR A BOON??

  Indeed, the more often heard tittle is 'science... curse or a boon'! But here, being tall is the subject to my question! Going back in time,where no cities existed..only villages and communities, the population did not exceed a few hundreds; the average height of a person was not too much. Today, a man with a height of 6 feet and a woman with height 5.5 feet are considered to have a decent height.Now a days, being tall is not an accessory to your appearance, its no luxury, its the need of the hour!
    Why is it so? The ever increasing- never in control population, or the introduction of high street fashion and couture? Or, does it depend whether "you are a complan boy?"!!
From reaching monkey bars by just leaning over your toes, to having a clear view of almost everything! After all 'A VIEW FROM THE TOP IS ALWAYS BETTER!'
From the opportunity to breathe well and moving swiftly in the mobbed local trains, buses and pathways, to having the confidence to reach almost everything..... I mean  the duster on the blackboard, the dabba of masala on the top shelf, hanging clothes on the drier! Ice-creams in the freezer are no goals too far... toffees kept in jars up high are no aims too distant! Other girls, just managing their wobbly walk in their most priced pair of heels, where flats become your soul-sisters! And for the guys, no pair of jeans too long and no basket too high! Pleasures of being tall almost, score a cent!
    Though sometimes, carrying a relief-spray can come in handy! Wonder why? May be because, your head gets tossed a few times extra by fellow classmates, for them to seek a better view of the professor in the class.. quite often, you are indeed their rescuer when they need to text somebody or just doze off for a little while!
Being tall comes with a handful of curses too. To begin with, NICKNAMES! Friends, oh, they can never fall short of those!! Standing in queues can be your arch enemy. Very frequently you may hear people swearing by your genes, for forbidding their sight, of what lies...beyond you! When people tend to stamp your foot, its you're fault..after all, you have the huge foot!! A big palm with enormous fingers, actually becomes a muse for friends and family. Gaining or losing weight can gain attention really quick. During functions, seeing little food on your plate, you may end up being approached for various marriage proposals, but who knows that  starters is your thing! Relatives never grow; they assume, even you don't; and confirming that; would be "So long, the last time I saw you, you were so small(demonstrating an infant with their hands)and now..(demonstrating like you have become a long-necked, awkward giraffe) so big" Hence, relatives can sound hilarious at times! When it comes to travel, an auto rickshaw or a cab can send your legs for a toss.
    Grandpas and grandmas are proud of your height and pals can get away with pulling your leg!
   Being tall, is an experience!! what I have learnt is, LOVE IT TO LIVE IT!!

WORLD BEYOND SPECTACLES

     Spectacles can be your friends, they help you get a better look of your surroundings. Though sometimes, they hinder your view of certain minute details you ought to get from the corner of your eyes. And believe me, the virtue of life lies in the little things people do for you, with you, because of you, or around you!
     When I wear my pair of glasses, I get a clear view of almost everything in front of my eyes, its almost...perfect! But, when I don't have my second pair of eyes, I have to struggle a little to search for particular persons, lookout for the good and the bad. From a mile away, everything looks hazy, but as I keep walking, rather stumbling towards what seems right, each thing falls in place (I too fall in a lot of places) like it is meant to be and I am just joining the dots!
     Sometimes, imperfection and making mistakes is better than doing everything the right way! At least, I have a story to share, an incident to remember and every spot earns its own memory! Sometimes, not wearing glasses can be metaphoric to making mistakes. Sometimes asking for help, drags you to the right person, at the right time, for your right solution! (too dramatic...but true) Sometimes, rubbing your eyes is much better than cleaning the lenses of your spectacles.
     Oh! I've even got into the wrong bus  few (many) times, but not knowing 'whats next' is amazing. Though you end up like a little fool at times, every time you pass through the same spot or see the same bus, a sheepish smile will definitely flash across your face, with only you knowing 'Why'. And that, is special!
     Of course, with being able to see it all, comes a sense of confidence, but a nail-biting experience is necessary to recollect something.. someday! If everything becomes an event, irrespective of whether good OR bad it becomes of great importance.... either to laugh about, or to learn from. If you're too scared to leave your glasses behind, you could try contact lenses... at least your view wouldn't be obstructed, but, the irritation and discomfort will prevail. If you're ever too scared to take a 'leap of faith', just think to yourself, what a memory  the next few moments of your life could make! because, UNLESS YOU LET GO OF "SOMETHING" OLD, YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HOLD GRIP ONTO "ANYTHING" NEW!!!!

travel...NO WAY!

     Jam is better on my bread, than on the streets of the city! It rather seems like ants , or in this case, donkeys travel faster than humans. Try carpooling, two wheelers or public transport, even footpaths fall short.. not only for pedestrians but also for vehicles themselves.'ruk ruk ke nah chal ruk ruk ke' should be the new slogan of the transport department or the B.M.C. Neither is rash driving, over taking nor is changing your lane an option these days. The only way one can meet with an accident is boredom or by falling asleep and bumping into someone. A perfect weekend drive can probably leave you with music without a radio. I mean, a grumbling companion can certainly present versatility.
      Well the advantage is, one can make several friends on the way.. either by appreciating cars, cursing the traffic and of course.. the government... or by simply loving your old music player all the more through the journey..'kyuki har ek friend zaroori hota hi' The other icing on your traffic saga are festivals. You may either be crazy to step out of doorstep, or you don't have a home.. the streets and crowded lanes of Mumbai are your home! OR.. you're just a practically jobless and optionless student, who can do nothing but embrace the traffic and pray to the 'signal baba' to 'go green'
     One may complain about the poor infrastructure of the city, it is actually on its way to get an identity of its own! If not you, your children, your grandchildren or at least their children may be able to relish the comforts of the monorail and metro(affirmation implied)
     If you think that I've missed out on waterways as there is no option here, then the railways..here comes the MEGA BLOCK! And when i write this,an analogy flashes through my mind. Like Mumbai is the heart of the nation, her local trains... are her arteries and veins (pardon me.. side effects of being a sciences student) and even one blockage can disrupt everything. Mumbaikars actually face this every Sunday! And plus, if you're a student, early morning tutorials sound preferable... better than late afternoons!
    Though, the pitied ones are from Kalwa, Thane, Belapur. Weekends may be rivals, but only great company at college can help them survive the painstaking travel each day!
Sitting on the seat of a bus, cab or train and burning your derriere is certainly not how your journey should be!