there so many... here just one.

In this huge silly world of more than a 100 billion people, somewhere, in the 7th largest country INDIA, in its 3rd largest state, MAHARASHTRA, lies the worlds most expensive cosmopolitan.. MUMBAI.. where I reside. A tiny individual, who is practically a nobody, without an identity, trying to push myself ahead in the race. The race of wanting to be somebody.

  I drag my weight and push it around the people I love. Just to assure myself that"yes! there are people who don't mind standing behind me, to lead me and hold me when I trip." Or rather somebody who wants to be there for me.. my friend, my family"

But, I've lately concluded that as there is an end to every story, not specifically a happy one, there is a certain end for this story too... which has rendered me with a vanishing of 'WE' and emerging of 'ME'. The death of 'US' and the rebirth of the immortal 'I'

LIFE, IS LIKE THAT!

 Wanting people to quit expecting from you, is in itself an expectation. I stand there with a bunch of my mates, questioning myself.. Will I be able to stand by you in your desperate times of need? and immediately, a part of me pounced and said..YES!! but somewhere... deep inside, I knew.. before I stood up for someone else.. I would be in a situation to be there only for myself!

I asked myself once more... whether the days of joy are truly shorter than the days of sorrow.. And I answered my query... "JOY"  must be redefined. Was joy, a day spent as a spend thrift or a day, saving each penny more to splurge it some time else.

Does happiness lie in enjoying the a/c in the back seat of your car, or taking up the bus today for a nice rickshaw ride tomorrow.

Is fun associated with having a day out with some people and wearing unwanted smiles.. or spending a day in, with yourself, laughing your breath out at  randomly stupid things!

Does life exist in the virtue of counting the number of happy days.. or living each of those moments without a second thought flowing across your mind?

May be I were never meant to be accompanied through the ups and downs of my life..

May be I should have waited for someone to come rescue me.

Or may be just held on for a little longer..hoped for some more.. wished for a teaspoon plus of support and then when none of these come my way.. just shed it all in tears... or simply.. walk the crowd ALONE!!

Dedicated to my dear darling sister.. PARINEETA S. POONJA

the love she found for herself

A brown t-shirt by lee, paired With the hottest pair of cargo pants, at an accurate 60 degrees angle north eastward within a radius of a meter from her, there he was..... glaring at her. For every time she caught a glimpse of his eyes...she wondered whether it was the worst hair day with coconut oil on it...the over sized t shirt with the hand cut shorts, or was it the droopy looking eyes that looked like those of a frog..and then she thought if any of these speculations were worth that stare that persisted for so long. May be, there could be a second possibility where "he would've noticed the beauty in me" she thought to herself, and doubted herself again... Thinking whether anything really existed in her! She questioned her understated beauty. Trying to sneak a glance of the miserable avatar she closed her eyes and made up her mind that she was no beautiful and claimed the man to be staring at her misery.She glanced back to see one last time whether he still looked at her, and she saw that the passion prevailed, it existed like he wanted her in his arms since ages and was trying to be satisfied just from a distance. This time her questioning about her facial and physical beauty was affirmative. She found herself asking her mind and soul, whether her eyes express far more than illness.  Her smile bloomed, lightening up her face. Her hair having more just than mere coconut oil on it. When she realized the wandering of her thoughts was fruit full, Mr. "I look cool in cargo's" said "you wouldn't find it in your face, its all in your soul." wonder struck, she stood there with her mouth open. He turned smiled, and winked at her waving good bye. He was the first man who had ever made her feel beautiful, who had made her feel loved and wanted. She never tried to search for him again, because the first meet was mesmerizing enough to last for an eternity. Yet she believed they were meant to be and will be brought back by DESTINY!