Sunday 20 May 2012

My reason to embark upon a journey.

     There are always situations in our lives when we have to choose left or right, this way, or that. Basically, start a new journey from a point you ending something on.
     When something new comes along I often ask myself, is it worth the effort? Is the venture too risky? Is there too much of mine riding on it? Now I think nothing is worth all the thought and all the thinking. Now I have decided, "Go with the flow"
    Yes, no experience is too happy or too sad, beating expectations or getting beaten down by expectations. Why not keep walking? if you have a great time, and the view is pretty, give yourself a pat on the back, because you started the journey. If the journey is sad and simply ugly, then pat yourself again, because sooner or later, it ought to end. Why not give everything a try? What not say, "better luck next time" than, "damn, if only i had..."

Maa...

     This afternoon, I had nothing to do but get cosy on the couch and surf through the T.V. I tucked myself away and recollected a childhood memory of my mother and me, cuddling on the sofa early in the morning.She'd lay there every morning after her walk, and I'd sleep next to her. Though she never made noise, I always knew she was there.
     It was the connection. Even if I have a dozen of friends, though I am rarely at home these days, though she gets bored of most of all the conversations I bring up, she'll hear.. if not listen! A walk to the market has always been our thing.
     Some things are never expected or looked forward to, yet, they become treasured memories of our life. What is it, that keeps the relationship so simple.. yet so intricate? What is it that makes maa love me though I kicked her, and gave her endless sleepless nights.. even before I was born? What is it that makes her forgive me after all the times I've let her down, disappointed her and throttled her hopes? I think, Its the umbilical chord that was never snipped!
     A chord, a connection that nourished me when I was inside her womb, the chord that supplies me with unconditional love ever after the mean words spilt out in frustrations, the tears shed in agony the banging of thing in wrath. We think the chord was cut when we were born, but truly, it stays.. an invisible string, hidden inside our souls, always protecting us, understanding us, our needs, and loving us. Do we get detached from the umbilical chord, from maa as we grow up? Does it break after we move out, out of childhood, into adolescence or in adulthood? Does it break as we get married and literally move out, into our own life and family? May be, its always there, in anticipation that may be, someday the love is equal on both ends.
      hoping that I soon balance the love you give me and add oodles of love, care and joy into your lap, to nullify the wounds I've given you.
Dedicated to my mother and the kids out there, if you need a push or just another instant to tell you how much you love your mother and to make you realize how much she has already give you without a complain! I hope this works!