This one is for YOU!

     Too many years of friendship to count on my fingers.

      Not a memory in my mind, but a journey in my heart, that, a few years ago, I didn't  want to travel with you. The trio, of Gunjan, Sneha, Madhura... we have spent almost a decade as friends!

     The Holi we celebrated together, digging up a huge pit for the bonfire and snack up at midnight with roasted coconut, making strategies for the "girls v/s boys" Holi war on the terrace, followed by jalebi, bread roll, and dosas!!!

     The Hide and Seek, gold spot, badminton! While the more interesting days were in the corridor playing treasure hunt and painting eachothers' faces after we'd get bored of my big painting book! The shoe boxes filled with our Pokemon and Dragon Ball- Z cards.. Bus tickets and the bus-bus we played with my little blue cycle. Teacher-Teacher at our homes! Science practicals!! oof.... they where so so tough.[making a glass of tang with perfect measurements, dude, you cant get away with that!]

     While Gunjan and Madhura, loved playing with their barbies, Teeku and I would get enthused with our hot wheels. What actually reminds me of BARBIES, is the zillion times we got our dolls married... oh it was so lame.. but I'll never really deny that I did that!

     Fighting with you, and at the end of the face off, we'd cry and confess how much we loved each other[ actually hate each other]

But those tears, I'd rather not see them again. May be all those petty fights and cruel arguments, then, is what has made us what we are, now. "Confession Days" is what we call them, buckets full of tears, hours together, getting out all the frustrations and my huge and tight hugs, that would almost deprive you of a breath...[now you know.. I really wanted to kill you]

The funniest days were when I taught you to ride your bicycle![ bitch, you are the elder one.. ain't that supposed to be your job?] However the major task was to get rid of those side wheels. I'd love hitting you with the cane when you'd give up... may be that is what your learnt in the long run... "Don't Quit" At the end of every session, the pepsi cola, was rejuvenating... and, this again remind me of the great, great parties we had!

     The first one starting from 1/- per head! Asking for those 100...paise was a dreadful dead! [ arre tu hal ke mummy ko bol na... chillayegi!] our regular dialogues.. weren't they? Later, the green cheetose became the eye candy.. not because they were tasty.. but the quantity.... enough for our ever growing appetite.

As time has passed, our standards have improved.. our love for food is immortal, the craving for chicken is killing.. Now, 2 pizzas, chicken wings, pasta, garlic breads, then a tender coconut ice cream and then a gold medal ribbon from BR in waffle cone with hot chocolate fudge....isn't enough... we can even bid all our money.. even the last penny for the ride back home... but food comes first... before life too!!!

     May be today I don't meet you too often, like I used to, around # years back. But I like it better this way, once in a month or so... because then we have so much to share with each other... so much to chit-chat about... The funny part is, you stay just one flight of stairs away from me, and all the window talks we've had... "Sneha.. moti phone kyu nai utharahi?"

and I reply to that..."Guddu.... tu... sukadi... number- changed!"

     Now I have so much to tell you so much, without thinking. You are probably one of the closest and dearest people to me, in whose presence, I can fart aloud![i know its not that pleasing...] But I mean, I can cry, yell, laugh, smile, blush and even learn the latest slang in town!  ;)

     We're like opposites.. antonyms..you are as much as a girl, as much as I can be the guy!

You have taught me the most important lesson of life so far, "Don't set boundaries and limitations for yourself, Because you ought to break free, just go with your gut feeling.. but don't do anything that displeases you, or the people you love."

     Happy Birthday Guddu!

  Loads of love, on your 19th year to your luxurious and dynamic life!

[save your butt.. because you're going to get 19 birthday bombs]

My FIRST Crush..!!

    I was at my cousin's home one day. He was with a couple of his mates playing video games. One of his friends, in my clear memory, was indeed very cute! He was fast, knew amusing tricks, handsome with a moustache and he had a red cap! He could break bricks, not with his hands or legs, but with his head! "What a gentle man!" I thought to myself. I could see myself as the princess he wanted to rescue from the dangerous and evil monsters!

     Whom am i talking about? Its Mario. Usually girls prefer Dave, but my greatest hero ever, is 

Mario, or should i say, "SUPER MARIO"

      I have spent months together in my summer vacations to get Mario to his princess... after all, I didn't want him to be upset for too long, did I?? All the levels were at the tip of my finger tips and of course on the joystick! My television video game set rocked big time!!!
Scorching heat all afternoon and me at home with chilled lemonade... and super mario!!!

    Till today, there hasn't been one single man, as cool as Mario!
     I love you Mario! Kids these days love you no more.. though i do.. i still do!!

    

But It Rained!

     Sitting on the backseat of the bus, on my way back home, it rained. The season ending showers are so pleasant!

     Every time I stretched my arm out of the window, to feel the raindrops come land on my palm, I experienced something that can redefine life. I felt alive. As it rained heavily, the smile on my face didn't fade. Its like my favourite stress buster!

     Rain, the clouds,  thunders, the bright lightnings, the cold shivers and the windy weather.. the craving for the perfect cup of coffee [ I'd settle for a cup of hot chocolate too] a bowl of maggi noodles or even pakoras and hot samosas could do the magic that cleans up everything.. the dust settled on green leaves and changes my mood!

     I have a fey memory of how, as a child, I'd stretch my hand out of the window leaning on it at home to feel the rain. I'd ask my sister"what colour is rain?" She'd say "It has no colour" As I had tiny arms, all the muddy water falling off the roof would seem like rain water to the tiny me.. and I'd say"liar... its brown" I chuckle at it even today.. though now, the difference is, my arms are long enough to reach the clean rain water!!

     A few months or may be years later, I got well acquainted with the flash light of the camera. I'd go running toward the window, opening it and smile looking toward the sky, thinking that God is clicking a snapshot of his children! I sure didn't want to miss that.. but, the thunder after that rather seemed like mountains came crashing down! [I am sure, by now you know where my imagination came from]

     Luckily, I have been the only kid at school who'd never get a smack on the ass after getting wet! All my friends would rather come over to ours to get dried up.. with a hot water bath and hot-hot bournvita.

     Rainy season at school was only about BUTTA!

It has varieties from the smallest for 3 rupees to the biggest ones for 6! Oh...the aroma, the rush around the vendor and of course the mirchi/ nimbu toppings!! My tongue is spiced up already!

     Cycling in the rains, racing and then realising that the breaks have given up... just makes me wish I could live it all again

     I have the cycle, the butta and the clean rain water too.. but all that is lost in these years, is the cute and silly innocence of those innocent people to play with!

Losing the numbness

      Sometimes, we don't understand ourselves too well. We need specific people in our life to show us.. to get us well accustomed with the various qualities that add to our personality and the dimensions to our soul.

      Some people tend to enhance these aspects, a few others struggle to conceal them. All that you can do is, know people in your life, don't  judge them, understand them, to realise what they are and they want from you.

      When you come across a new feeling or emotion, its more or less because, somebody helps you to realise that you possess those characteristics. 

      Like.... You know that you can fall in love, only when somebody loves you.

                  You get angry only when somebody is capable of making you angry.

                  You laugh or cry, be happy or sad, enthused or lethargic..

      At most of the instances, there are certain people near and dear to you who help you feel the change. Somebody needs to touch you, touch your soul, for you to realise that there actually exists one. As if, it has been there for ages, unnoticed and numb... and one day, you seem to lose the numbness.

      People who have gone through rough patches in their lives, find offence in somebody wanting to know them. It feels dreadful to find that somebody can actually show you what you pertain to. Its okay to be resentful once in a while. Its okay to enclose all your frustrations and desires into a chest, lock them away in the inaccessible depths of your memories and throw the key in the ocean of your heart. All that really and truly matters is, if somebody finds the key, don't resist unlocking yourself. Let your wounds heal, because only the ones who intend to stay for long, will take pains to actually dive into your heart, and stay there.. without drowning!

      So let go, Take a chance...

Questions.?.

I often ask God, why, why don't you grant me at least somethings I want?

why don't you let me design my own life and lead myself to my destiny?

why am I so unsure about how will my tomorrow mould out?

And today, I think I've found answers to these questions.

May be because I really don't know what I want out of my life, and what I want to make out of it!

I am not even too sure of everything I've desired of.. from the college I wished to study in, to the people in my life.

One never gets an ounce more than ones rights or what one deserves. Everything gets balanced out accurately. Everything is so meaning full and simple.

Yet our thoughts and our will to have a clear idea of every scenario makes the situation like a maze, coming across to be impossible!

Now the new question is,should I let go... to hold back something better?

Or should I grip harder so that nobody can snatch anything from me?