there so many... here just one.

In this huge silly world of more than a 100 billion people, somewhere, in the 7th largest country INDIA, in its 3rd largest state, MAHARASHTRA, lies the worlds most expensive cosmopolitan.. MUMBAI.. where I reside. A tiny individual, who is practically a nobody, without an identity, trying to push myself ahead in the race. The race of wanting to be somebody.

  I drag my weight and push it around the people I love. Just to assure myself that"yes! there are people who don't mind standing behind me, to lead me and hold me when I trip." Or rather somebody who wants to be there for me.. my friend, my family"

But, I've lately concluded that as there is an end to every story, not specifically a happy one, there is a certain end for this story too... which has rendered me with a vanishing of 'WE' and emerging of 'ME'. The death of 'US' and the rebirth of the immortal 'I'

LIFE, IS LIKE THAT!

 Wanting people to quit expecting from you, is in itself an expectation. I stand there with a bunch of my mates, questioning myself.. Will I be able to stand by you in your desperate times of need? and immediately, a part of me pounced and said..YES!! but somewhere... deep inside, I knew.. before I stood up for someone else.. I would be in a situation to be there only for myself!

I asked myself once more... whether the days of joy are truly shorter than the days of sorrow.. And I answered my query... "JOY"  must be redefined. Was joy, a day spent as a spend thrift or a day, saving each penny more to splurge it some time else.

Does happiness lie in enjoying the a/c in the back seat of your car, or taking up the bus today for a nice rickshaw ride tomorrow.

Is fun associated with having a day out with some people and wearing unwanted smiles.. or spending a day in, with yourself, laughing your breath out at  randomly stupid things!

Does life exist in the virtue of counting the number of happy days.. or living each of those moments without a second thought flowing across your mind?

May be I were never meant to be accompanied through the ups and downs of my life..

May be I should have waited for someone to come rescue me.

Or may be just held on for a little longer..hoped for some more.. wished for a teaspoon plus of support and then when none of these come my way.. just shed it all in tears... or simply.. walk the crowd ALONE!!

Dedicated to my dear darling sister.. PARINEETA S. POONJA